Friday, December 13, 2013

Snow White and the Huntsman (Extended Edition)



...renews my suspicion of apples...
Oho! I knew it was only a matter of time before Kristen Stewart and I would cross paths. I've avoided the Twilight saga like the cooties, and so I've missed out on the fuss and the furor about her. But I couldn't pass up on SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN like I passed up on MIRROR MIRROR, and, it turns out, I sort of fancy Stewart's performance. Skin white as snow, lips red as roses, hair black as a raven's wing. That fleshes out Kristen Stewart to a tee. Still, it's nigh impossible to trump Charlize Theron's turn as Snow White's rather... self-absorbed... step-mother. Theron simply mesmerizes. She's so good there are moments you sympathize with her - that poor, gorgeous, demented queen who as a girl was cursed by a mother's dark gift. Evil begets evil, and you sense that Ravenna must have endured some unspeakable sh--. Not that that makes up for her nasty practice of sucking the beauty and vitality out of innocent girls... Queen Ravenna is like the grim fairy tale version of Project...

Looks aren't everything
I just want to start off by saying that I wanted to like this movie. I really did. However, this film is depressingly skin deep.

The good. The camerawork is absolutely stunning, the special effects as well. Your eyes tell you that there is a marvelous film before you, but that is as far as it goes. I have to say, before I start the bashing, that Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth try their absolute hardest making something out of the lines that they are given. Their performances were touching (Theron more so than the rest) and they at least gave some substance to it. Hemsworth carried most of the film when Theron wasn't in the picture. If it were just a story between the two of them, even with the horrible lines that they were given, it would have been at least a four star film.

Now for the bad, and when I say bad, I mean terrible. I never had much of an opinion about Kristen Stewart before this movie. I steadfastly stayed away from Twilight so I thought I had...

Charlize steals the show, a good place for Kristen
Charlize Theron is stunningly beautiful and equally talented (as always). I could go on forever, but nothing needs to be said. Film-stealing in both appearance and performance; a wise decision to give the villain more than her fair share of screen time. I so wanted the queen to win.

Chris Hemsworth gave an excellent performance and was easy on the eyes. Rugged on the outside with a soft heart, just the way I like them. I hope we continue to see more of him in the future.

Kristen did what she does best, look the part. Damsel in distress, don't say much, play dead, good job. It's a shame she's so lovely and so talent-less at the same time. It's like Keanu Reeves had a little sister. Thank you to all involved who kept the title character from having to say more than one sentence at a time for almost the whole film. She had one big speech, which she delivered expectantly mediocre, but they had to let her talk some time. I hope her Twilight role doesn't carry her...

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